Why does my survival depend on constantly pushing the edge spiritually

I keep having to explain myself to others! So I decided to do a note on this subject!
I do not have any means to make a living in this world by normal means because I am “differently abled” with limited visual memory(ability to keep track of things), and limited finer motor skills(which make me tire quickly when doing things requiring them to quite a degree)! Most work requires a visual memory good enough to provide one with a visual idea of what one should be doing! Without the right ability to visualize one will feel lost in a lot of environments when it comes to how to normally respond to it! I am good at creatively responding to situations since I have to do this an awful lot! This creativity I use as compensation for my lack of normal visual memory and ability does help me develop new stuff spiritually! I am also really good at dealing with simple structural visuals which is useful when developing spiritual theories! I just do not have a lot of distractions in my mind that having a lot of visual memories to deal with and respond to creates! I just am very complicated in how my body and mind operates, but I am very skilled in the spiritual especially and function best when in a crisis state which is natural when one is so often put in one by circumstances! My body and mind limitations are naturally in harmony with the type of spirit I am! I do find that a lot of people are not capable or willing to understand a spirit as different as mine! That is what motivates me to challenge people who conform to the spiritual beliefs that predominate or in fashion on this planet and are inadequate.
Here is a link to my facebook profile page which has links to my other spiritual stuff on the internet:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10210214091253350&set=a.1392358213610.2055329.1371789816&type=3&theater
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Why have I had so much time in my life to focus extremely hard creatively on the spiritual?

I tried hard to find a way to fit into the job market, but was unable to due to my visual memory and finer motor skills limitations. I did manage to survive due to family help, but felt I had to be extremely frugal and purposeful, and work harder in the area(the spiritual) that I have a lot of ability in. I always saw(I believe for very real reasons) my life as one continuous crisis and still do. I felt like I had to work harder than anyone else, so that I would have the spiritual strength to do things others would not be capable of doing. I wanted to be in a position that I had the strength of spiritual character(and intense enough connection with reality) to over power the energy of those who would question how much effort I put in to being successful in life.

I have had to push myself extremely hard all of my life, since I felt I had no other choice in order to survive in a world that is extremely rough on very unique “differently abled” individuals like me. What a lot of people find not very difficult to do in this modern world, I find really difficult. But, I found that I could handle better what other found really hard to deal with in the spiritual/emotional area, and saw this as a very useful advantage I had. So, I decided to apply as hard a level of difficulty to developing myself and my spiritual theories and techniques as I could possibly do.

The type of spiritual training I developed and do is more advanced and difficult than anything available out there is this world right now. Why do I believe this is true? Because I put an extreme amount of effort in developing and testing these training techniques(especially in the past 3 decades of my life) along with developing spiritual theories using the development of a new astrology system based on them to force me to develop them further. My astrology system was needed to tune me in spiritually so that I would have the self awareness and spiritual awareness to handle the most extreme and difficult of spiritual/emotional states in a way that could enable to direct even the roughest spiritual/emotional energy in a positive/constructive direction toward bringing more positive spiritual/physical results to a world that has so many serious problems rooted in the spiritual that need people motivated by really strong spiritual purpose to tackle and find adequate remedies for.

Here is my very useful blog post on meditative walking which is an extremely effective spiritual training technique: https://astrogoodwin.wordpress.com/……

  • Thomas Goodwin "astrogoodwin"

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